Curses! V1.1
by Hedgehoguy
Summary: Sorry for all the spelling errors and false information on the first one, this one was upgraded. make sure to read it!


Curses! V1.1  
  
(Sorry for all the spelling errors and wrong information on the original!)  
  
It all started down on the peaceful planet of Aiur. There Protoss made their livings, working as farmers, members of the militia, and cocky salespeople named Stu. Of all the Protoss, though, one grandly stood tall above the rest. That hero's name is Tassadar, the great and wonderful Tassadar. He gave power to the people, practiced proclamations, and produced proteins for perpetually panic pumped power plants with a pestilence for perspiring. Away in his tower he slaved away that night, thinking and re-thinking battle strategies for the attack on the Zerg that would soon abolish their entire nation unless their race was completely destroyed. Also helping in this tactic was the lone Zeratul and the half- witted Fenix.  
  
"Well, Zerg, looks like we've got you now!" With the sleightest of hand, Zeratul brought down his arm in a rage of fury to end the mindless Zerg creations. "Ha! I got another!"  
  
"Hey, that wasn't fair, I want a turn!" Proclaimed Fenix. Fenix studied the battlefield, then issued the soldiers to attack with the stiffening of his arm. He was soon faced with bitter defeat, though, after he saw his best man go down without even a cry of pain.  
  
"Check..." Muttered Zeratul, followed by the hated word "...Mate"  
  
Fenix slammed his fist down on the gameboard with extraordinary might, then threw it to the floor. "Dammit, Zeratul, you lousy son-of-a-bitch! No matter where I move, where I go, you're always right there behind me, slaughtering away at my men like they're plastic figurines or something!"  
  
Before Zeratul could get out the words "They...are plastic figurines", Fenix mustered up all the energy he had and punched Zeratul in what seemed to be the place for a non-existant nose. Zeratul fell to the ground with those little X's in his eyes.  
  
"Ha ha, check...mate...er...Ahh, hell with it" Fenix kicked Zeratul in the balls and walked toward the mini juice bar for a drink.  
  
"Cut that out, you guys! We have matters to attend to! The Zerg could be attacking at any moment, and all you can do is punch Zeratul in his...face?" Shouted Tassadar from his desk. He studied his in-depth war plan again and again, trying to figure out a way to demolish the Zerg.  
  
Suddenly, as if from nowhere, Artanis popped his head in the window. "General Tassadar, we have urgent news from the observation deck! The Zerg are on a full fleged attack against our colony, and---what the hell happened to him?" He said, pointing at Zeratul, who by now was curled up in a ball with drool hanging out of his mouth, every now and then convulsing.  
  
"That's uncanny! The Zerg attacking so soon? They usually wait at least half an hour after having anal sex with each other before attacking us!" Tassadar exclaimed. "No time to chat, we need to get our men ready. Load the artillery, gather the military, and spank my gramma! The Protoss are going to war!"  
  
"Perhaps you could use one of my spells to your advantage?" Asked the quite calm Razsagal, walking into the room from the sleeping qaurters.  
  
"Piss off, wench!" Grumbled Fenix, who by now was situated on a hammock drinking a glass of pink lemonade. "We need not your gypsy curses and the such!"  
  
Razsagal wiggled the fingers covered in rings and jewels on her outstretched hand, causing the hammock the tumble and make Fenix fall over.  
  
"Curses! My lap...Awash in pink lemonade! Unpleasantly chilly!" He managed to sputter through shock.  
  
"Sure, Razsagal. What spells you got ready for us today?" Questioned Tassadar.  
  
"Well, sir. Today's selection consists of teleportation, mind control, stasis field, and our spell-of-the-day, Goody Goody Gumdrops!"  
  
"Goody Goody Gumdrops?" Wondered Tassadar out loud.  
  
"As you wish!" Razsagal summoned a giant heaping helping of those nasty sugar coated green gumdrops, which fell in a large pile on Fenix. He stuck his head out, saying, "Goody Goody Gumdrops!"  
  
"Right, well, we haven't time for this! The Zerg are to attack at any moment! Hurry, men, let's go!"  
  
All of a sudden, the entire fortress started shaking, like a massive eathquake had just taken place.  
  
"The Zerg are stampeding toward us!" Shouted Tassadar. "Quickly, baracade the doors! Get everyone else to go outside and die until it's safe for me to come out!" Tassadar scuttled and hid under his desk like a baby.  
  
At this same point in time, Zeratul woke up. He rubbed his head and mumbled some gibberish, right before a large ceiling tile fell and hit him on the head, knocking him out cold, once again. Tassadar felt this was the best opportunity he would have to do it, so he let out a loud scream like a little girl. Everyone stood silent and stared at him. Even the Zerg stopped their mindless trampling shaking the fort. Tassadar stood up slowly, then brushing himself off, commanded, "Right, then. Well...Um, that was...nevermid! We have urgent matters to attend to! Load the cannons and ready the soldiers! We're gonna have a good old fashioned slobber-knocker here tonight, folks!"  
  
...To be continued 


End file.
